A candid conversation with self

To sit idle is a crime- a crime which is as heinous as any other crime that is recognised as an offence by the law and is punishable under the judiciary. The only difference is that for being idle one is not served with any jail term or execution. An idle mind often become a prisoner of self – unable to speak, move and even unable to think rationally. An idle mind is like a parasite and it feeds on the host’s body, hollowing it completely.  The world is full of such idle minds and, probably, I too belong to this category.

As I sit here today while doing nothing fruitful and worthy (forget extraordinary or even ordinary alone) and take a glance back into my past life I realise as on what I have lost in. What I was, where I was and what have I eventually become and where I have finally (almost) reached? It’s a classic tale of self destruction. A foolish act during adolescence can be ignored (as it can be rectified with persistence) but the repetition of the same during adulthood is far beyond the ambit of stupidity. Lousy mouth, rude attitude, faking confidence, non-existent intelligence and some daydreams- these are the basic elements with which a person should never be made off; but (un)fortunately I think I am a complete package of these very elements and the construction too seems absolutely perfect. Even though nothing is perfect and I might not indeed be a perfect blend of stupidity and falsehood, but I doubt if I lack somewhere in complete idiocy.

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In the race of life, a start is very important. In the sprint of life, the initial kick is all very important. But even after the best ever (almost) kick-start, my life’s scooter failed to gain the adequate momentum. And no, the scooter had no technical snag. I rode it all wrong. Have been idle for a little too long and now I really do not know how to restart the almost rusted and jammed engine.

The competitions scare me. Even though want desperately, yet I am unable to break the shell that surrounds me. The way ahead is blurry and everything seems to be out-of-focus. Being charged with charges of compete idleness is a severe crime and I am convicted of this severe crime. What I am concerned of now is of some survival, forget winning back what I have lost.

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