Reservation of the third kind

It’s scary…! Ban on liquor consumption is indeed scary and the State Government of Bihar has done this scariest thing. Scarier was the time when the State Police raided some hotels and arrested 8 men (businessmen) for consuming liquor. I am never ever going to Bihar…

Well…hold on, I am not an alcoholic as you might have presumed by reading the first 46 words. I am just sharing my fear… Even Kohima is a dry city and…OMG it has been declared a smoke free city too! Fish… I am never, ever going to Kohima again (even though Kohima is my favourite hill station). No smoke, no drinks…that’s simply insane! It is an attack on one’s freedom. It is murder of democracy. It is a stab on our basic fundamental right to live freely. We need freedom. We need revolution. We need leaders to stand up, rant slogans and bring us justice.

I think the time has come for the drinkers’ community to stand united and fight for their rights. I think it is time the smokers’ club to join hands and stand up against this brutality of the various governments. The drinkers’ community and the smokers’ club must join hands together and form a single organisation and demand for special status.

cartoon-drunk-bottle-21448262
Image courtesy: Google

According to a survey carried out by some national health organisation, around 36 per cent of Indian men and 19 per cent of Indian women either drink or smoke or do both. The population graph is quite small and hence we surely deserve the minority status, don’t we? This way, we will have our rights protected and no ban can ever ban us from smoking and drinking.

Belonging to the minority class will yield us benefits galore as we will get our drink and smoke at a subsidised rate. If someone from the other community hits us while we are drunk, that person will be punished under the law. We will have special rights in schools and colleges and at offices too. We can demand for seat reservations and what not. Hey wait…why not also appeal for the SC status for the community? This way, we will not only protect our rights but of also the generations to follow. Drinker/Smoker Class Certificate will help our future generations to the limit which we can’t even imagine now. This quota will also help our children to get selected in sports team, quiz teams, get film roles, get driver’s license and this and many more of that.

Best part, the people from this community will be at peace as they will have a common faith with different names. This will be a global community and once we do it in India, we can unite all the drinkers and smokers from across the globe. As a world community, we will have special status at UN as well and in fact, later on we can demand for a separate nation too. Sounds impossible and crazy, but this is very much possible…I mean if the descendants of the rulers of a State can demand for SC and OBC status, why can’t the drinkers and the smokers demand for one? All we need is the intent and the will and I am sure the community and club do have individuals who can lit the fire and carry forward this fight for special quota for these 36 percent men and 19 percent women. And with so many State governments coming up with alcohol ban and smoking ban, I think it is high time we do something before alcohol and cigarette vanishes completely from the heart of this country.

(PS: The above is a light hearted piece written with all seriousness. If you like the piece, then kindly share it and if you don’t then also share it as sharing means just caring and nothing more.)

(CONFESSION: The idea of this article is not original as I read a somewhat similar piece at Kashmir Times and it was called as Drinkers’ Reservation Quota…!)

Drunkard
Image Courtesy: Google
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9 thoughts on “Reservation of the third kind

  1. “..And with so many State governments coming up with alcohol ban and smoking ban, I think it is high time we do something before alcohol and cigarette vanishes completely from the heart of this country.”

    I loved this part the most. I think that day is not far either. If the ban on alcohol continues the way it is continuing now then one day Alcohol will indeed become extinct and we will know about it in the chemistry books only.

    Humour is not dry and you have indeed been able to tickle the funny bone…at least I had a hearty laugh.

  2. Thank you for mentioning the name of Kashmir Times and the article from which you got the idea to write this article. It is indeed a bold step from your side to have mentioned the original source that drove you to come up this piece, I have read the Kashmir Times’ article and I think both the articles are differently presented, even though both has the same theme. Satire is a difficult subject and it is good to see that you are trying to pen down some satirical pieces. All I will suggest you is that you do read some good books and varied authors. Hon your skills. All the Best

  3. A bullshit article. Why do you write nonsense when you have nothing to write? Reservations for the drinkers and the smokers? Do you think quota is an issue to make fun off? Do you even know the dynamics of reservations? Do you even know why so many people are fighting over reservations? Do you know how deprived are those who is from the reserved category? If the government would have not come up with the special schemes, then today also the people from the reserved categories not looked up with respect. You all who belong to the upper class are born respected in the society. This is a nonsensical piece. You should be sued.

    1. I respect your opinion and I am sorry if it has hurt your sentiments. But the article is written in light humour and I have no intention to hurt anyone’s feelings. Please forgive me If I had hurt yours

  4. I hope the humour is understood. It will be a bouncer for many. It is good, but could have been better. More elements of humour could have been added

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